Attainable, Beautiful, Perfect

Attainable, Beautiful, Perfect:
The Vortex of Geek Culture

WIP

I am an otaku.
I mean that in the American version of the word, in Japan, you'd never call yourself an Otaku. If you were to meet a person who was into younger chicks, like college girls and they said to you 'I am a pedophile! Pedo Pride!' well, you'd stare at them like they were crazy.
So, in the American form of the word... I'm an otaku.
Unfortunately, I'm not nearly as hardcore as I'd LIKE to be. Truth is, I don't have the money and I have other interests. I'd like nothing more than to completely immerse myself in this American-Japanese Culture Hybrid.
The truth is, I only own a few Manga, a few DVDs, I watch most anime online, I dig video games a bunch, I've never had anything imported, I've made a few failed attempts to learn Japanese; a prospect I will come back to at some point... but in reality, I've made no sacrifices to be a part of this culture...
Which is something that it requires sadly.
I do love video games though. With that, you can take to the grave.
So being Hardcore in one thing and Casual in another, I feel I can speak frankly and most important, accurately.
Too many times before... I'll see this situation, hell, I've lived it before.
You find yourself immersed in this geekery, making no sacrifice for anyone, truly being one's self. It's an easy thing to do and what's more, it's an honest thing to do. "To thine own self, be true" and no one holds true to this statement more than the person who openly partakes in socially un-accepted activities. Nerdy things.
And these people do fine.
Have you ever met the boy of your dreams?
Have you ever laid eyes on the girl who, very simply, couldn't be more perfect?
You're not alone.
A girl who, you get to talking with... and you let yourself open a little bit and mention some of the geekier things your into.
Perhaps if you're a girl, you mention a strange little obsession with a certain bishie.
They smile and laugh. They like that. Slowly, you start to open up, and so do they. In your wildest dreams, you never thought you'd meet someone who was actually so like you.
And you could never imagine how off the market they are.
This used to be an issue I attributed to being exclusive to men, who start to hang out with the geekier girls, trying ever harder to get closer to the pretty one. She's beautiful... and you actually have a shot with her. This is how we trap ourselves in the illusion of the attainable beauty.
As I said, I used to believe this only happened to men, but then in an instance very close to me, I realized how hierarchy can exist in a subculture that prides itself at being at the bottom of the social ladder.
Even in a culture such as geek-chic, they is always an ever-expanding gap between the beautiful and the ugly. She's a cosplayer... not a geek. He's an artist... not a bishie.
At the end of the day, the ugly still have no more of a shot with a supermodel.
I see it too often.
The truth is, geek culture is all about one thing. Indulgence.
You cannot, and I will repeat this... cannot persuade someone to love you by sharing their hopes and dreams... you can only persuade them to love you by fulfilling theirs.
Boys too often root out girls who enjoy Twilight, I've noticed, and share their interests... hoping that she might see the beauty in him. The only way to let yourself into their heart is to not love Edward Cullen, but to BE Edward Cullen.
A crude an strange analogy? Maybe... but only because I've seen it too often. If that nerd boy you admire from afar has posters of anime girls plastered all around his walls, turn and run. They can never love you unless you are drawn by hand.

This is a cautionary tale.
One who loves another is unattainable.